Ending

Caitlin finally is able to admit to herself that what's happening is true. She ends up writing it down in a letter to Cass, which she doesn't think Cass will ever read. I think that admitting it to herself that what is happening is bad and it is in fact happening, was the first step. Her next step will probably be admitting to someone eles, and that someone else is either going to be Rina or Cass. Its a new year for Caitlin, will she ever find a way to come out of the drugs and the abuse? Will she see Cass again? Read this amazing book to get the full experience and the ending. Adios!

The New Relationship

Caitlin examines her body and realizes more bruises showing up. On her arms legs, and shoulders. Rogerson, has been more careful and makes sure where he hits her can be covered by an article of clothing. This somehow brings hope for Caitlin, at least he wasn't going for her face anymore. The bruises were getting bigger and more painful each time he hit her. She was sure to always show up early, not on time, but early for dates. She had created levels for Rogerson's madness. There was a blocking bruise, a hard foul, and if things got really bad she called it full contact. Most the time it felt like it was full contact. Its getting to a point where Caitlin can't even hang out with Rina if she wanted to. She can't talk to any guy, cause if Rogerson was to see her talking to a guy, he would assume that she was flirting with him. If she was talking to anyone else it meant she was telling them how Rogerson hit her. He was so controlling she couldn't do anything without pissing him off, unless it was sleeping with him. Sleeping with him was the only time he didn't abuse her anymore. At anytime anywhere's else Rogerson always had an excuse to hit her.
I think that form here Rina is going to get fed up and talk to Rogerson herself, and say Caitlin has to hang out with her for once. I think this will tick Rogerson off so bad he'll beat Caitlin bad that she will end up in the hospital and he will have no lie to hide behind this time.

After Shock

The last time I posted you found out that Caitlin got smacked right across the face by Rogerson. During that chills ran up and down my spine, but it gets worse. As time goes on Caitlin has a hard time admitting to herself that it actually happened. She keeps trying to say it out loud to herself, write it in her journal somehow, but no matter what she couldn't get herself to do either. She had no scar to remind her, except for the memory, that didn't seem to ever leave her thoughts. She kept replaying the look on his face, how his eyes turned black, how he wasn't the same Rogerson she fell in love with.
Caitlin still sees Rogerson. One day she had him pick her up from photography class. When Rogerson saw Caitlin and her photography teacher shaking hands, he flipped. He believed that they were holding hands, and even as Caitlin begged for him to believe her, he wound up and punched her in the jaw. Her excuse this time was she fell on ice. As she watched her dad outside salting all the icy spots thinking that was going to save his daughter from another injury, she felt ashamed. Giving him false hope.
Every time Caitlin explains Rogersons face before he hits her, its always the same. And I can see it perfectly. His hands clutching the steering wheel, his jaw tensing, his eyes turning black. Then all of a sudden he can't take it anymore so he winds up and a fast blur hits Caitlin across the face. As saddening as these scenes are I can always picture them perfectly, like I'm right outside the car standing in the cold snow, watching, yet, doing nothing.

The Goosebumps Cover My Arms

In my last post I predicted that, Rogerson was going to hit Caitlin. Well, as the day went on Caitlin had to go to a ceremony that night, so Rogerson met her there. The ending statements were longer than expected. Caitlin's hands were tensing up knowing that Rogerson was outside waiting getting even more aggravated. Her hands clenched the edge of her dress, waiting for Principle Hawthorne to finish up. Finally it was over and she raced out of the auditorium to find Rogerson parked by the soccer field. She raced over to him and got in the car. He looked annoyed and Caitlin knew he was. He kept his voice low, but she knew he wanted to be screaming. As soon as she told him to not be such a big baby, everything was a blur. His hand flying across her face was all just a big blur. The pain stung her face as she held her hand against the spot where he had hit her. She tried not to but she cried anyway. She felt her eye swelling up and her face still stinging. What is she supposed to do, she can't leave him, she loves him? As much as Caitlin is going to want to she's not going to leave Rogerson. She will get everything she has to leave him, but she wont.

My Nerves Are Kicking In

Right now I'm reading a part where Caitlin is on her way to meet Rogerson. The major thing that sets Rogerson off is being late, if she leaves now she'll make it back in time. But she sees Rina driving on the road whose clearly crying. Caitlin somehow knows that it has to be about her boy trouble. Right now Caitlin has a decision to make and she decides that she is going to be there for her friend which means she going to be late for her date. I can already see Rogerson blowing up and raising his hand to Caitlin. Will it happen, will it not? Who knows?

Understanding

As Caitlin is getting closer with Rogerson and learning about his lifestyle, she's beginning to realize and understand why Cass ran away. Everyone expected her to be a perfect cheer leader and the truth was she didn't even want to be a cheer leader she hated it. Not too long after "running errands" with Rogerson often she met a couple Dave and Corrina. Her and Corrina got along great and when ever she was hanging out with her she was happy, she didn't feel like crap like she did when she was with Rina or the rest of the cheer leading squad. She hoped her sister was as happy as Dave and Corrina were. But hanging out with Corrina everyday is causing her to do drugs everyday, and she actually buys her own now. She's also in a photography class with her Mom and Boo, and now shes more proud of her picture that her teacher congratulated her on then her B honor roll. Caitlin's going downhill, fast and I only see this getting worse. I think that not only she sees where Cass is coming from, but she also sees where Rogerson is coming from. So I think shes going to get highly addicted to drugs and then things are going to go completely wrong and all she feels she will have on her side is her photography and Rogerson.

Hinting & Discovering

From my last blog you found out that Rogerson is being abused by his father. What Caitlin is NOT realizing is that Rogerson seems to be a little controlling himself. In the book I'm realizing as time goes on he seems to be getting controlling on my part. She always has to go where he wants to go, and he has to get his way. But Caitlin isn't helping this matter. She likes him so much that she lets him get his way. I honestly see this turning into an abusive relationship. A) because Rogerson is abused himself, so this is what hes exposed to in a relationship B) there is drugs involved and C) Rogerson is really controlling about Caitlin. It may be small things for now, but I think it will progress over time.