Ending

Caitlin finally is able to admit to herself that what's happening is true. She ends up writing it down in a letter to Cass, which she doesn't think Cass will ever read. I think that admitting it to herself that what is happening is bad and it is in fact happening, was the first step. Her next step will probably be admitting to someone eles, and that someone else is either going to be Rina or Cass. Its a new year for Caitlin, will she ever find a way to come out of the drugs and the abuse? Will she see Cass again? Read this amazing book to get the full experience and the ending. Adios!

The New Relationship

Caitlin examines her body and realizes more bruises showing up. On her arms legs, and shoulders. Rogerson, has been more careful and makes sure where he hits her can be covered by an article of clothing. This somehow brings hope for Caitlin, at least he wasn't going for her face anymore. The bruises were getting bigger and more painful each time he hit her. She was sure to always show up early, not on time, but early for dates. She had created levels for Rogerson's madness. There was a blocking bruise, a hard foul, and if things got really bad she called it full contact. Most the time it felt like it was full contact. Its getting to a point where Caitlin can't even hang out with Rina if she wanted to. She can't talk to any guy, cause if Rogerson was to see her talking to a guy, he would assume that she was flirting with him. If she was talking to anyone else it meant she was telling them how Rogerson hit her. He was so controlling she couldn't do anything without pissing him off, unless it was sleeping with him. Sleeping with him was the only time he didn't abuse her anymore. At anytime anywhere's else Rogerson always had an excuse to hit her.
I think that form here Rina is going to get fed up and talk to Rogerson herself, and say Caitlin has to hang out with her for once. I think this will tick Rogerson off so bad he'll beat Caitlin bad that she will end up in the hospital and he will have no lie to hide behind this time.

After Shock

The last time I posted you found out that Caitlin got smacked right across the face by Rogerson. During that chills ran up and down my spine, but it gets worse. As time goes on Caitlin has a hard time admitting to herself that it actually happened. She keeps trying to say it out loud to herself, write it in her journal somehow, but no matter what she couldn't get herself to do either. She had no scar to remind her, except for the memory, that didn't seem to ever leave her thoughts. She kept replaying the look on his face, how his eyes turned black, how he wasn't the same Rogerson she fell in love with.
Caitlin still sees Rogerson. One day she had him pick her up from photography class. When Rogerson saw Caitlin and her photography teacher shaking hands, he flipped. He believed that they were holding hands, and even as Caitlin begged for him to believe her, he wound up and punched her in the jaw. Her excuse this time was she fell on ice. As she watched her dad outside salting all the icy spots thinking that was going to save his daughter from another injury, she felt ashamed. Giving him false hope.
Every time Caitlin explains Rogersons face before he hits her, its always the same. And I can see it perfectly. His hands clutching the steering wheel, his jaw tensing, his eyes turning black. Then all of a sudden he can't take it anymore so he winds up and a fast blur hits Caitlin across the face. As saddening as these scenes are I can always picture them perfectly, like I'm right outside the car standing in the cold snow, watching, yet, doing nothing.

The Goosebumps Cover My Arms

In my last post I predicted that, Rogerson was going to hit Caitlin. Well, as the day went on Caitlin had to go to a ceremony that night, so Rogerson met her there. The ending statements were longer than expected. Caitlin's hands were tensing up knowing that Rogerson was outside waiting getting even more aggravated. Her hands clenched the edge of her dress, waiting for Principle Hawthorne to finish up. Finally it was over and she raced out of the auditorium to find Rogerson parked by the soccer field. She raced over to him and got in the car. He looked annoyed and Caitlin knew he was. He kept his voice low, but she knew he wanted to be screaming. As soon as she told him to not be such a big baby, everything was a blur. His hand flying across her face was all just a big blur. The pain stung her face as she held her hand against the spot where he had hit her. She tried not to but she cried anyway. She felt her eye swelling up and her face still stinging. What is she supposed to do, she can't leave him, she loves him? As much as Caitlin is going to want to she's not going to leave Rogerson. She will get everything she has to leave him, but she wont.

My Nerves Are Kicking In

Right now I'm reading a part where Caitlin is on her way to meet Rogerson. The major thing that sets Rogerson off is being late, if she leaves now she'll make it back in time. But she sees Rina driving on the road whose clearly crying. Caitlin somehow knows that it has to be about her boy trouble. Right now Caitlin has a decision to make and she decides that she is going to be there for her friend which means she going to be late for her date. I can already see Rogerson blowing up and raising his hand to Caitlin. Will it happen, will it not? Who knows?

Understanding

As Caitlin is getting closer with Rogerson and learning about his lifestyle, she's beginning to realize and understand why Cass ran away. Everyone expected her to be a perfect cheer leader and the truth was she didn't even want to be a cheer leader she hated it. Not too long after "running errands" with Rogerson often she met a couple Dave and Corrina. Her and Corrina got along great and when ever she was hanging out with her she was happy, she didn't feel like crap like she did when she was with Rina or the rest of the cheer leading squad. She hoped her sister was as happy as Dave and Corrina were. But hanging out with Corrina everyday is causing her to do drugs everyday, and she actually buys her own now. She's also in a photography class with her Mom and Boo, and now shes more proud of her picture that her teacher congratulated her on then her B honor roll. Caitlin's going downhill, fast and I only see this getting worse. I think that not only she sees where Cass is coming from, but she also sees where Rogerson is coming from. So I think shes going to get highly addicted to drugs and then things are going to go completely wrong and all she feels she will have on her side is her photography and Rogerson.

Hinting & Discovering

From my last blog you found out that Rogerson is being abused by his father. What Caitlin is NOT realizing is that Rogerson seems to be a little controlling himself. In the book I'm realizing as time goes on he seems to be getting controlling on my part. She always has to go where he wants to go, and he has to get his way. But Caitlin isn't helping this matter. She likes him so much that she lets him get his way. I honestly see this turning into an abusive relationship. A) because Rogerson is abused himself, so this is what hes exposed to in a relationship B) there is drugs involved and C) Rogerson is really controlling about Caitlin. It may be small things for now, but I think it will progress over time.

The Intensity Begins

So far you know the basics or what lays on the surface, Caitlin's a cheerleader and her older sister Cass is missing. Her parents watch a show called the Lamont Whipper Show everyday just to see her in the backgrounds. You also know that Caitlin has a boyfriend Rogerson who is a drug dealer. But what you don't know is soon to come.
Last time I left off saying that Caitlin had just met Rogerson's mom in one of those awkward moments. Well after that Rogerson took Caitlin to his pool house, where he had his room and things. Not too long after Caitlin notices his tip top shape room there is a knock on the door. Caitlin was examining the bathroom when Rogerson opened the door. Soon after he did so a big man who she figured was his dad started screaming at Rogerson causing Rogerson to back up right in view of the bathroom. Caitlin made sure she was in the darkness of the bathroom so his dad wouldn't see her. He kept going on and on about how Rogerson was late, and then before Caitlin could run out and do anything he raised his hand and slapped Rogerson right across the face. He then said a few ending statements then stormed out of the pool house, slamming the door behind him. Caitlin came out of the bathroom and traced Rogerson's eyebrow. It was red from where his father had slapped him. Rogerson kept whimpering don't touch me, but each time she traced it the more he leaned in to lay his head on her shoulder.
After reading this part I could feel my jaw just drop. I could see a heavy man screaming in a terrified teenagers face. I could see it in slow motion the father raising his hand and hearing the slap sting through the air. I can see Rogerson trying to defend himself, but it being useless. I can feel the confusion that Caitlin is probably feeling. I can see her figuring everything out and putting the pieces together to see why Rogerson is the way he is.

My Prediction was Wrong

As for my prediction, I was wrong Rogerson showed up at exactly 7:00. But I wouldn't call it a date at all. Now Caitlin knew he had community service, but she didn't know what for. As she finds out from this so called "date" he's a drug dealer. He ends up "running errands" before they go on their very first date. First he stops at a house where there is a big party going on. He deals some pot to a former football player, and then he moves to his next house. The next house a young mom with a baby on her hip answers the door. Caitlin watches Rogerson go into the house and the door close behind him. After 20 minutes or so he comes back out. Then they got to another big house and you can tell there is a party going on because cars are lined up outside the driveway. As they were about to go in Rogerson takes a hit, and encourages Caitlin to take one as well. Caitlin has learned her whole life to say no to drugs, but she does it any way. Before going in Rogerson slicks back his hair, to make himself look more sophisticated. Not too long after Rogerson's mom opens the door Caitlin finds out that this house is Rogerson's. When they go in Rogerson leaves to let Caitlin have sometime with his mom. But right when things get akward he and his smiling face comes trotting down the stairs. Now this part right here I can really visualize, because of movies I've seen in the past. I can see Caitlin in the kitchen with his mom, his mom having a glass of wine, and Caitlins hands tensing up and her face turning red. Caitlin can feel the tension coming over her, and she's not acting like herself. She probably feels sick to her stomach and all the noise in the background isn't helping. But right as she sees his face all of a sudden her hands loosen, her face tones down to maybe a pink instead of bright red, and her stomach isn't turning as much as it was before.

Soon after Caitlin and Rina made the cheering squad they were invited to a big "popular" party. Before they went to the party Caitlin and Rina's friend named Kelly (their ride to the party) wanted to clean her car because last party she was bringing home her boyfriend and he got a little sick in the back seat. While Kelly was scrubbing the seat that her boyfriend had gotten sick on and Rina was having a cigarette, Caitlin went over to get quarters for the vacuum.
As she went over there she saw a guy leaning up against his car and he had dreadlocks-like hair. Caitlin could feel his eyes following her as she turned the corner but at the last second he called her over and she obeyed. He claimed his name was Rogerson and he managed to find Caitlin's scratch marks on her arms and knees. She told him the truth about how she had fallen off the top of the pyramid and was lucky that someone was there to catch her. Soon she said goodbye and joined her friends to go to the party. Not too long after she got to the party who shows up but Rogerson. Something had managed to pull her into his car and drive home with him. Also that same something had pulled her to make out with him in the same day she met him.
Now that she has met Rogerson nothing has been on her mind but him. Although one day she managed to think about something else for once. Cass. She was watching this show called "Lamont Whipper Show" and saw Cass in the background with a clipboard at hand and a headset. She knew then this was going to be a daily show for her family to watch.
A couple weeks have gone by and she was moved to the middle of the pyramid, and still no sign of him. Another few days and not one phone call, not one drive by. Still no Rogerson. Then one day at a fundraiser for cheer leading her mom sent her to the kitchen to get another tray of cookies, and I think you can guess who was there.
Again something pulled her to kiss him again, and they were then going out. They had scheduled their first date and he claimed he was going to get her at 7:00. It was quarter of and he wasn't showing.
I think that Rogerson is going to show up late just to make her wait a little more, but he's not the one to stand her up. But he definitely likes the thought of her waiting desperately for him.

Freewrite

I remember where I was when we first found out that my cousin Kasi was getting married. We had just gotten home from my Uncle's house it was probably 9:00 at night and my mom walked over to the answering machine and saw the red light blinking. Without knowing it was going to be so big she casually pressed the button and listened to Kasi's excited voice fill the room. She was making all her calls to everyone and she excitedly exclaimed "Josh proposed!" I remember right then the smile stretching across my face and already picturing her wedding and how gorgeous she would look. Not too long after the night of the proposal Kasi had wrote on my facebook the wedding was going to be in 2011. As for now I count down the days with her until the big day.

In this book so far, I have found out the main character's name is Caitlin. Very early in the book Caitlin's sister Cass has runaway. After Cass runs away her parents are so upset and scared that they even forgot Caitlin's birthday. There's one thing you must understand about Cass. Cass is a star athlete and a star student. She sent an application to five different schools and got into four of them. Overall she chose Yale, and when she didn't show up for first semester they realized something wasn't right. Not long after her disappearance Cass makes a phone call home, saying that she is okay, and she is happy where she is. She never included where she was or she was with just that she was happy. The day after the call Caitlin's best friend Rina persuaded her to try out for the cheer leading squad. Caitlin and Rina both made the squad.

The book of my choice is "Dreamland" by Sarah Dessen. I chose "Dreamland" because it was recommended by a friend. Also from what my friend told me and by what it said on the back it sounded like a really good book that I would enjoy. My hopes and predictions include it being goosebumps worthy and not being able to put the book down.